I’m pretty good with words. But there are times when even the perfect words just can’t express what you feel. This is where emphasis helps, and expressiveness with your face, and your body language can fill in some… Animation, tone, volume, repetition, they all help.
But has there ever been anything that no matter how many times you say something, or the words you use, or the emphasis you place, you know you’re not adequately conveying the meaning it has to you, or what you feel?
This happens with my core values, and by extension my company’s core values all the time.
The truth is there are differences in how we all value different things. Some people value family fiercely. Some people value their free time – such that nothing will penetrate a boundary around time off. For me, I know that the value I place on my core values is a differentiator of mine. I have often wondered why, and there are certainly experiences I can point to, one of which was a very formative experience in my life, and I’ll share that story with you in a few minutes. But truth be told I think it’s always been a part of who I am.
This differentiation shows up in a lot of ways. One is that I won’t depart from my values for any reason. This devotion is reflected in the values themselves. Another way is that I am forthcoming about it and them. Because transparency is a value I hold. The level of accountability I hold myself to is very high around our core values. This isn’t about perfectionism, it’s an expression of my values.
The values that I have and the degree to which I care about them is really important to how I support others professionally. In my opinion, the combination of these two factors are huge differentiators of Palladium Mind in the space of transformation – maybe the most important and defining of traits. Why?
For one, trust.
The reasons we are not well, the reasons we are not enjoying our wealth, the reasons we are not happy are because we don’t see ourselves accurately, or have not been fair toward ourselves. The reason is often that we have betrayed ourselves somewhere along the way and may not even know when or how…
In my own evolution as a person, at times when I was seeking external support to resolve a certain issue or other – I have encountered service providers at times who have been very unclear on their own boundaries, their discernment, and most importantly, their own intentions for trying to help others “clear their lens”. And let me tell you, when someone isn’t totally clear on WHY they’re trying to help others, it can become quite a mess! Without the right conditions in place, the outcomes of engaging someone’s help in your life will almost always surely be mixed – least of all not as powerful as they could be when help comes from a clear place, or comes from a place of deep-seated and aligned values.
The relationship is the bridge of healing. It’s the foundation: there need to be clean lines.
When someone is assisting you to express your potential, push on the limits of how you’re seeing yourself, and untangle the ways that you aren’t being fair to yourself, you need them to be clear in their integrity. You need them to be able to see and understand their own intentions and motivations – to be transparent and self-accountable. There’s a LOT more I can say about this…
Every time I’m meeting someone for the first time, I wish that words could convey all of this adequately. A lot of information transfers without words, I know this. And if you’ve ever had the experience of getting on a call with someone and immediately feeling a sense of deep relief, safety, and trust – this experience of knowing is so valuable – it’s everything!
But a lot of people come to me for help with trusting themselves. So I know it’s a little more complicated than that.
For someone who’s been ignoring their inner knowing for a long time, and/or hasn’t fine-tuned their listening ability, even when they have these intuitively positive gut reactions, it can be engrained habit to doubt them.
This is why I think it’s important to spell our values out, too, rather than leave it to assumption. With something that matters so much, why not be definitive and state it outright.
Values are the essence of the identity, and they reflect the purpose of its existence.
Some people have a couple core values, or 3, or 5. I have 4. And one of those values has 4 components that make it real.
Values may help you understand: “Why work with Palladium Mind? Why Mandy? What makes the team she’s built different? What can I expect from them?”
Here are our 4 core values and what they mean to us:
1/ Obsession with Results
We facilitate lifetime achievements for our clients in weeks not years, and we guarantee our results.
Real problem solving and resolution is gratifying and rewarding. It feels victorious. It’s entirely different from problem management.
We understand that when permanence & completeness stack, they create tremendous value. This type of value is our specialization, and at Palladium Mind, we create it with our willingness to go deeper, our commitment to outcomes, and a process that’s capable of creating this type of lasting and holistic change.
2/ Vision
We see a bigger picture where all our needs do not compete, and we help others access a higher plane of experience and awareness that exists beyond fear.
We are committed to that reality of unbounded possibility. This includes moving through paradigms of fixing, and problem fixation, into a shared experience of transcendence.
For instance, different from most other businesses’ reason for being: we are not focused on bringing others from a concept of failure into an experience of external success in their lives, but rather into a perspective and embodied experience that has transcended the idea of failure altogether. We also focus exclusively on the inner experience of success that is available to everyone regardless of circumstances.
3/ Congruence
“True all the way down, all the way to the end,” Congruence is about living up to the agreements that you create with others and with yourself, & following through no matter what. Congruence is how we live our values.
Congruence is the Difference between saying and doing, appearance and essence. The ability to experience Quiet. The ability to experience Peace. The ability to experience Relaxation. The ability to experience Enjoyment in the littlest moments, versus merely perceiving or “knowing” the value of the present moment. These are all faces of Congruence.
Congruence has 4 natures: Appreciation, Commitment to Quality, Transparency, & Trueness.
1 Appreciation: Appreciation is gratitude in motion.
- Appreciation means deeply valuing the good with the bad, the small and the grand alike, the sweet as well as the sour – with our whole heart. This is not the same as settling or having low standards or poor boundaries. This is about dignity and respect.
- Appreciation implies a non-judgmental attitude, a truly open and inclusive world view, and an unconditionally respectful viewpoint.
2 Commitment to Quality: We believe “It’s the little things.”
- Done isn’t good enough if it isn’t beautiful, too. Commitment to Quality creates a blue chip experience with a focus on reliable and enduring results. Some words that characterize a real commitment to quality include attentiveness to details, precision in execution, and above all, thoughtfulness.
3 Transparency: Transparency is an expression of leadership.
- Transparency is the ultimate expression of leadership. Radical personal responsibility is one thing, but when you add transparency it goes to another level. Transparency is about loyalty to the relationship, belief in the possibility of a win-win-win outcome, and dedication to that possibility.
- At Palladium Mind, Transparency shows up in our willingness to shoot for what is possible, address what is blocking, and not sweep things under the rug.
4 Trueness: Real alignment in action depends on Trueness of Intention.
- Trueness enables us to remain unattached and so aligned to the higher good. This is about action not done for the outcome of the action, but for the value of the action itself. Its quality does not allow for manipulation.
- To be True in intention requires us to see our intentions clearly, and also distill and refine them (that they are not mixed, but pure). There is also a directional vector of intention, which I call Quality: this speaks to an intent to enact one thing or another, for instance to harm versus and to help. Without all 3 components in place, actions and/or their outcomes can be inconsistent, unreliable, or unpredictable.
These 4 natures of Congruence make a form of Congruence which is practically absolute! Interesting, right?
Last but not least, our final value may speak for itself:
4/ Ease
This is Ease in the experience, and Ease of process. Clients may enjoy this quality as it shows up in our produces and their experience of our services: as if a well-oiled machine.
The greatest reward of my life besides my marriage is helping people learn to trust that inner knowing within themselves. This ability improves every experience we have.
Living this way could be considered a point of vulnerability in someone like me. Because there’s a predictability about how I walk and Be in the world, how I conduct myself and my affairs, how I show up to a “fight”, how I diffuse fights. But I don’t really see it that way. Because I see being known in this way as a strength.
Living this way is something I wouldn’t trade for any amount of money, or prestige, or material gain. And I know this for sure because every day, each of us are presented with myriad opportunities to trade our values for some currency every day.
I learned a long time ago that living out of Congruence doesn’t give me any emotional satisfaction at all. In fact, living out of Congruence with our true nature is the source of all pain and disease that exists on this planet, believe it or not.
Another day, I’ll share how this truth revealed itself to me a long time ago. That story will clarify how I came to be live so certainly in these values.
Because the truth is that I used to depart from my values all the time – long before I fully understood what they were. This is one reason why I have such a high level of empathy for people who are still betraying themselves, consciously or otherwise.
I wrote this post with the knowing and faith that it will deepen connections that are meant to form.
I hope it finds you well, and if you want to reach out or connect with me, I truly hope you’ll do that so that we can meet, and assist each others’ missions in this lifetime.
With love,
Mandy
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Mandy Barbee Lanier, MA Economics & CCHT is a Performance Coach and three-time Founder with 20 years experience leading teams (large and small) in the military, corporate, and clinical worlds. She helps successful people, especially those leading their own teams, thoughts, and industries, to completely transform / convert anxiety, self perception issues, fear and disconnection into their unique advantage, and fully access their personal power in weeks not years, using her system & framework, Power Play™, combined with their innate capacity for imagery. Her company Palladium Mind Inc empowers and equips others to identify and permanently resolve the root cause of core inner blocks, and strategically edit and align behaviors, thoughts, and reactions with their highest values, in order to ENJOY success. Her work has been featured in prominent media outlets such as Newsweek, Forbes, Thrive Global, and more, and she hosts the podcast Calm, Confident & Deliriously Happy.